wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
