i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
