She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
