you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
