That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
