hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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