ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
