he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
