I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
