You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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