I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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