Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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