is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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