Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
