How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
