If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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