Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
