I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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