I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
