I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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