This is not my ceiling
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
