I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
