We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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