She is in my trunk
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
