im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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