Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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