theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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