There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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