if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
