i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
