Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
