So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
