maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I could fuck to npr.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
