We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
