Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
