Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
