How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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