"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
