He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
