What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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