We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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