I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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