i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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