hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
