some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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