So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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