How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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