Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
