To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
