So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
This house was built for laser tag.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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