I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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