Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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