I'm so fucking centered right now
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
