I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
